A Conversation to Change It All
by aries03
Summary: sam/jack. starts between Grace and Chimera and ends post-Threads.
1. Chapter 1

_A.N.: Takes place between Grace and Chimera. The conversation that lead to Sam saying okay to her brother to meet Pete. Warning, this isn't my typical Sam/Jack fic. This isn't a happy ending. If I get enough requests for it, I might continue the story on to after Threads, and then it might turn into my normal Sam/Jack fic. As it stands, this was only meant to be a one-shot, but I already have ideas on how to continue it on. We'll see. _

_..._

She was sitting alone in her lab. Good. That's what he was hoping for. He could feel the beads of sweet starting to form on his palms. He had come in to work this morning to find a note on his computer. It had completely taken him by surprise, and although it was anonymous, he knew immediately who it was from. If the handwriting didn't give it away, the words definitely would have.

_Jack:_

_Was leaving it in the room the right thing to do? _

So now he was going to go talk to her about it. He knew he had to; there was no question in his mind. He just didn't know what to say. There was no knock on the door, no formal entry, as he just walked right in and sat down on a bench across from her.

"Sir."

"Carter."

"Did you need something?"

"Oh, I don't know. An explanation, perhaps."

"Sir?"

"The note, Carter."

She looked like the cat that ate the canary. Her cheeks got pink as she swallowed hard the guilt that was starting to form in the back on her throat.

"Oh."

He knew that getting information out of her wasn't going to be easy. They were friends, good friends to be exact, but neither were really forthcoming about their emotions. He knew that he would probably have to start even though he really didn't want to.

"Look, Carter. I appreciate the thought. I really do. You know that I care about you a lot more than these stupid regulations would probably like to see, but taking it out of the room? I don't know if that's such a good idea."

She didn't say anything. It was obvious that she was waiting for him to continue as she carefully weighed each word. She was always so analytical about everything.

"I know you. You've worked hard to get here, Carter. We both know how much pride you hold in your accomplishments. You're career means everything to you. Heck, there's not one vacation that we've had that I haven't had to tell you to 'get a life' as I left to go fishing and you prepared to spend the week in your lab. What do you think is going to happen if we try to have a relationship? Hmm? You'll be on the first bus outta here for having had a relationship with your CO. I can't let you do that to yourself."

She just stood there. She was always so serious, so business-like when she was on base. It always made him wonder what she was like in the privacy of her own home. Finally, she spoke, but he could tell that she was being careful to not let her emotions show through.

"I did a lot of thinking aboard the _Prometheus_. I had plenty of times to weigh my options. I know the consequences. The question is, what do want, sir?"

"I want you to be happy, and I just don't think that I am the answer to that. For one, I'm older than you, and although a couple rounds in the sarcophagus have done me well, I'm no spring chicken. Plus, what do we really have in common? I mean, _really_? I guess the real question is, do we have what it takes to bring this past friendship into a worthwhile relationship? Without being 100 sure, I don't think we can even remotely consider taking that risk. We could be uprooting our entire lives for something that might not even work out, and we both know that it would be more likely to effect your career than mine. Not my choice, but that's the way the cookie tends to crumble. If I've learned at least one thing in life it's that life isn't fair. The good don't always win, and sometimes it just plain hurts. Nothing we can do about that, Carter."

She swallowed hard again as she processed the information before her. His heart was aching. It wasn't that he didn't want a relationship with her. In fact, he had thought many nights about it, trying to figure it out in his head. He just didn't see how it was plausible.

"Fine, sir. That's what I wanted to know. I hope we can still be friends."

"Always, Carter. Always."

He gave her a tap on the shoulder before walking out. Once again, it was all left in the room.


	2. Chapter 2

_A.N.: So I only got one review to continue the story, but it happened to be a review from a very important person, so here's chapter two._

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I also do not own the lyrics at the end of the chapter. They are from "Not That Different" by Collin Raye. _

_..._

Sam did what any respectable woman would do after having that kind of conversation with a man she had such strong feelings for...she moved on in hopes of forgetting those feelings. Her brother had called her up the week prior, telling her about his best friend and how he was going through a tough time right now and could use some company. At the time, the idea seemed ridiculous. She didn't have time in her life to be _company_ to a man who was having a hard time in life. Now, it seemed like it might be the perfect escape.

"Mark?"

"Oh, hey, Sam. What's up?"

"Well, I've been thinking...remember that guy you were telling me about? I think I'd like to give that a try."

"Uh...yeah...sure...I mean, I wasn't actually expecting you to say you would do it. I mean, don't get me wrong...I'm happy. You deserve it and all, but you've been so wrapped up in the deep space telemetry, or whatever you do in that mountain, that you haven't really had much of a social life..."

She was annoyed by this point. She hated how her brother always had to bring that up. If he only understand what it was she really did for a living, he might begin to understand why she was so wrapped up in it all the time.

"Yeah. Yeah. Just give him my number, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, okay."

His name was Pete. She didn't know much about it, but at the moment, that was okay. All she knew was that he was a cop from Denver who was recently divorced. She had to admit, he wasn't without charm. He was a nice guy, a real nice guy, but she wondered if he was maybe a little too nice for her. It wasn't like she was planning on the relationship getting serious or anything, though. It was just something to help her get her mind off her current situation. The vision of her dad was right. It was time for her to be happy.

Now, she just had to decide whether or not to tell her friends. Contrary to what they might think at times, she really didn't like keeping things from them. She found herself outside the door to the lab of one of her closest friends.

"Hey, Daniel, can I come in?"

"Do you really even have to ask?"

"Yeah, I suppose not. So, guess what?"

He looked up in anticipation.

"I have a date for Friday."

"You? A date? With who?"

"His name's Pete. He's a cop out of Denver."

"Well, okay. I'm happy for you, I guess."

"You guess? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Is going out with Pete what you _really _want?"

Damn. She knew he knew. He was too smart for that.

"Sometimes you can't get what you _really_ want, Daniel. Sometimes you have to lot go of your false hopes and move on to the next best thing."

"Or _sometimes_, your hopes and dreams just need a little more effort. Anything really worth hanging onto isn't going to come easily, Sam."

"Well, unfortunately, I can't wait any longer to be happy, Daniel. I have to do this _for me_."

"Well then, I wish you the best."

She left his lab with a heavy mind. He was right, you know. She should have given the possibility of a relationship with Jack a little more effort. She supposed she still could.

He came back from lunch in a huff. He had been regretting his words when talking to her yesterday. She deserved more than that, but then again, that was the whole point. She deserved _more_ than what he could offer her. Much to his surprise, he found yet another note laying on his computer.

_Words to a song that I love._

_I laugh._

_I love._

_I hope._

_I try._

_I hurt._

_I need._

_I fear._

_I cry. _

_And I know you do the same things, too. _

_So we're really not that different, me and you. _

He read it one more time to make sure he got the words right, and then he stashed it away in his top drawer.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam hadn't heard a response from Jack, so she went on that date with Pete. She was determined not to dwell on her aching heart, and she sure as heck wasn't going to beg. She knew that her friends didn't like the idea of Pete, but she also knew that the only _reason_ they didn't like him was because he wasn't Jack. That he sure wasn't. Sure, Pete wasn't exactly her normal type of guy, but he paid attention to her, was head over heels for her. So, she let the relationship progress. One date turned into two which turned into many.

Daniel couldn't stop thinking about his friends and the horrible mistake they were both making. It was driving him nuts. He was the mutual best friend between Sam and Jack, their go-to guy along with Teal'c, so it always bugged him that they were secretly hurting so badly inside, so he did what he did best, meddled. He found himself on the doorstep of a good friend who needed a good kick in the head.

"Jack."

"Daniel. What can I do you for?"

"You know that Sam and Pete are starting to get serious, don't you?"

"Good for her."

"_Seriously_? After all this time, you're just going to let her go?"

"And what choice do you think I have?"

"There's gotta be a way, Jack. I thought you loved her..."

"I do love her, Daniel. I love her enough to know that she deserves better."

"Better than _you_?"

"Damn straight. Carter is absolutely perfect. Yes, she has her flaws, but she is so damn humble that her flaws make her even more perfect. She can't risk the life and career she has worked so hard for on me. I won't let her. I will always, and I mean ALWAYS, love her, but sometimes you have to love someone enough to let them go."

"But she's _isn't_ happy, Jack. She might pretend to be, but we both know that she isn't really. She really cares about you. You say you want her to be happy, but then you go and break her heart."

"Look, Daniel. I'm thinking in terms of the long run. Sure, she and I could have a fling, and we'd both be incredibly happy for awhile. Yeah, sure, great. But what happens when the initial high wears down? What happens when all shit hits the fan? You think that the solution is simple. You think I could just retire or she could switch units, etcetera, etcetera, but any of those options would completely change our lives and careers. What happens if it doesn't work out? I could handle doing that to myself, but I could never handle doing that to Carter."

Daniel left as dissatisfied as ever. He knew that their would be no talking reason into either of his friends. They were both too stubborn and proud.

As time progressed, the bond between Jack and Sam didn't weaken. Some might think that Sam's choice to move on, and Jack's choice to let her, would have driven a wedge between them. However, in their hearts, they both knew of their unspoken sacrifices, and that just managed to strengthen the bond between them.

Then, the unexpected happened once again in their lives. There she was, in Antarctica _again_, saying goodbye to him knowing fully that she might never see him again. Tears started to well up in her eyes. She felt the slightest pang of guilt for seeing Pete despite her feelings for Jack, and she began to regret not trying harder for the relationship she really wanted.

When she got home that evening, she laid her head down on her pillow and cried all the tears she had been holding back, let go of all the buried grief. She didn't care that Pete had let himself in and was standing beside her in the bedroom.

"Sam, honey, what's wrong?"

"I can't tell you, Pete."

"Sam, look at you, you're a mess. You need to talk it through."

"I CAN'T tell you, PETE. Is there something you don't understand about that?"

She knew that she had maybe snapped a little too hard, but her curiosity drove her absolutely crazy sometimes, especially at times like these. She had actually been thankful that he had been in Detroit when Janet had passed away. It had made things easier to handle. Pete had known what Sam did for a living for awhile now. She thought that would have made it easier, him knowing that she worked for a top secret facility, but it didn't stop the questions. He didn't understand her, what she needed. _If Jack was here, he'd just hold me until the crying stops_. _Oh...Jack_. Her thoughts made the crying turn into sobs, and she ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She just wanted to be alone.

She hadn't heard Pete leave nor did she hear someone else enter the bedroom in his place. It wasn't until she heard the soft, understanding knock on the door and the friendly voice that she realized someone new was out there.

"Sam? Are you in there?"

"Daniel...is that you?"

"Yeah, Sam...are you okay? I was worried about you."

Slowly she got up and unlocked the door. Daniel didn't say anything as he wrapped her tightly in a hug. He didn't mind that the tears were soaking through his clothing. He knew what she was exactly it was that she was mourning. It was more than just the potential loss of their friend, it was the potential loss of a true love.


	4. Chapter 4

_A.N.: The lyrics used at the end of the chapter are from "Always a Woman" by Billy Joel. _

_..._

She had thought that she had for sure ruined her relationship with Pete. They had fought before, especially about the things that she could not tell him, but she knew this time had been a little different. Frankly, she wasn't sure that was such a bad thing. She was able to focus all of her attention on getting Dr. Weir to let her get Thor to save Jack.

To say that getting Jack back into her life left her conflicted would be an understatement. The bond between them was as strong as ever. There had been many close calls in the past, many times when they thought that the other might have been lost, but this time was a little too real. Jack had been in a stasis pod in Antarctica. She had been aboard a replicator ship that had been blasted apart.

She opened her computer a week later to find an email notification flashing on her computer.

_to: _

_from: _

_For once, I am the one sending the memo._

_That last one was too close of a call. Please don't do that again. That's an order._

Her heart fluttered in her chest. She knew that she shouldn't be thinking those type of thoughts. She wasn't a single woman anymore. Much to her surprise, Pete had stuck around, and it wasn't like she had any indication that Jack wanted anything more of a relationship from her. Oh well, it was just a friendly email, after all.

_to: _

_from: _

_Yes, sir. Same to you, sir._

She sighed as she flipped her laptop back closed. Things were even more complicated now. He was now the CO of the entire base. His promotion was definitely a good thing, but it just reinforced how above her he was. What was she thinking? Why would he want a relationship with her anyways? So, she did what she always did lately when she was starting to think inappropriate thoughts. She called Pete.

Then, the unthinkable happened. A couple of months later, Pete proposed. She could feel the breathe get caught in her throat, but not in a good way. She felt like she was suffocating. All she could do was tell him that she'd think about it.

Two weeks later, she found her face to face with her true heart's desire. She showed him the ring, told him that Pete proposed, and he really didn't say anything. She didn't know what she wanted. She didn't want him to beg, but he could of at least asked her not to marry Pete. She kept coming up with excuses why she shouldn't get married, and he kept pointing out the positives. Why couldn't he just give her one good reason not to marry someone else? Oh, it made her so angry, filled her with so much disappointment, so she said yes to Pete. The only reason not to marry Pete was Jack, and Jack definitely wasn't standing in her way.

She should be ashamed that she was getting married. She knew she shouldn't, but she was. She found herself avoiding the subject at work. She didn't want to discuss wedding plans, didn't want to talk about Pete with her friends. This time it was Teal'c, not Daniel that noticed. He found her sitting in her lab one day after she just completely dodged all their questions yet again at lunch.

"Colonel Carter."

"Yes, Teal'c?"

"Does not the Taur'i get more excited about their upcoming unions? You seem most unsettled."

"Can we not discuss it?"

"As you wish."

Meanwhile, every week that passed was one more in which Jack regretted his decisions about her. She had poured her heart out to him, in her own way, and he stomped it down thinking that was in her best interests. Now, she was going to make one of the biggest mistakes of her life. He could sense it, but he didn't know what to do about it. What if he was wrong? There were days when Carter seemed happy with Pete. There just seemed to be more of the days where she wasn't. He fumbled around with the pen in his hand until he knew exactly what to write.

This is what she found on her desk the next morning:

_She is frequently kind  
And shes suddenly cruel  
She can do as she pleases  
Shes nobodys fool  
But she cant be convicted  
Shes earned her degree  
And the most she will do  
Is throw shadows at you  
But shes always a woman to me _

It was subtle, but she knew who it was from and what it was saying. It was one of his favorite songs, and it fit her to a tee.


	5. Chapter 5

Once again, he felt the beads of sweat form on the palms of his hands as he entered her lab. This is the first opportunity he had to talk to her in over a week. Her father had died, and she had been on leave. He just stood there for a couple minutes, starring. She was so absorbed in her latest project that she hadn't noticed him coming in. That's the way she always was, though, focused and determined. It wasn't until she went to move to the other side of the table that she noticed the other figure in the room. She looked up, pink forming in her cheeks.

"Sir, how long have you been standing there?"

He didn't answer. He just walked next to her and wrapped his arm around her should, as he had done countless times before. Softly, he whispered into her ear.

"Don't marry Pete."

He could feel the surprise forming throughout her body. She wasn't expecting that.

"Don't marry him, Sam. You're making a huge mistake."

He felt her move slightly away so that they were face to face. He saw the normal seriousness in those blue eyes, but this time, there was also a spark of honesty.

"I know."

"You know?"

"Yeah. I broke it off with Pete a week ago..."

She moved in closer so that this time, it was her who was whispering into his ear.

"..._for you_."

There was a moment of silence as he felt his heart practically leap out of his chest. He couldn't help but smile.

"I was hoping that you'd say that...because I'm transferring out of the SGC and going to Washington..._for you_."

He wanted nothing more than to kiss her right then and there, and he could see that she felt the same way, but they were still under the same chain of command. His transfer wouldn't go through until the end of the month, but the wall between them emotionally finally broke. Everything finally came out of the room.

It was the conversation that finally changed it all.


End file.
